MATHETΩN

Well, I am still wanting better to know how to repent. I want to know not just for me but for the world, for everyone. It seems terribly important for everyone. I was watching a highschool football game, a little; and then I was watching small children in a restaurant and looking out of cars.

“Redemption” is a very strong and comely word.

Today I loved to read Works chapter two, specially the latter part.

I want you to learn how to be and do right, too. I do not know what is right for you to do, but you are making me think things about what it is to start to learn the right.

Say and think always the honest truth.

Your chin is yours only.

Forgive them. Cry and do it.

Do not always smile for those who smile at you.

You must live and not consent to die.

Do not go very much to church.

When you say something stubborn or mean to you, melt and take it back.

Leave quick, while your heart is still in you, and take it as far as its beating warns you to.

If you find that you are looking hard in the face of what has frightened you …

If you find that you cry very hard a way that washes you …

If you find that you are doing what you thought most hard but are breathing …

If you find that you are falling hard in love with something you are doing …

And only what is impossible must be done. Only what is impossible is worth a damn.

Heartsick.

No it’s not love—not tonight. I’ve been wicked and I feel dull and broken and I hurt I am so sorry for it and the worst thing is I don’t see any way to make it right. There always is a way, and I do always make things right no matter how bold or humble I must be. I repent, and then I can cry and breathe and hurt a different better way.

But tonight I see no egress—I am walled in, buried alive. I can’t sleep; I will sit here wretched and sad.