Pop quiz
Match the evangelistic pitch to its denomination:
1. If nothing otherworldly happens in your worship service, then the other world must not approve of it, and you must join our church.
2. If you read and find these stories of prehistoric America credible, then you must join our church.
3. If you do not join our church, then you cannot have this bite of deity’s-flesh to make you immortal.
4. If you do not join our church, then you will be tortured an infinite number of years.
5. Other churches are meanies, and, unless you wish to be bullied by them, you must join our church.
A. Apostolic Church
B. Southern Baptist Church
C. Roman Catholic Church
D. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
E. United Church of Christ
Exoristos
Porter Doran
Iannes
Epiktetos
Anonymous
…to sum up: If you do not join our church, you are damned.
Actually, Miss Reynolds, I think that only Fundamentalists make damnation their sales pitch. Other groups may imply it in their sales pitches, or they may leave it from their pitches but teach it after. However, some groups do not even teach their own privately that others shall be damned: e.g.: the Mormons do not, the Universalists (which include much of UCC, actually) do not, and the (liberal or orthodox) Quakers do not.
Ah, I stand corrected, Mr. Doran. Thank you.
1A
2D
3C
4B
5E
Porter, this hurt my feelings. Maybe this was not your intention, but the note seems full of bitterness and ridicule. I think it is a bit insensitive of you to bring out those points that the people of the five denominations believe in, that outsiders see as completely ridiculous. Please remember that you also have faith in things that others find completely ridiculous.
I know that this is just a silly facebook note, but I have not been able to shake my feelings about it since I read it a day or two ago.